Unfinished

Photo

Tue, 07 May 2013 23:47:47 -0700

Holding on for too long

Fri, 03 May 2013 22:49:00 -0700

You’ve never been the one to let go first.

You blame this on the game “Red Rover”, the game that capitalized your free time during recess in the third game.

Everyone would get in two lines, on opposite ends of the mossy green field, and stare at each other as if they were 300 pound linebackers getting ready to crush their opponents. Side by side you locked your fingers tight and pressed your palms together, with the girls next to you, as if you were trying to squish a penny between them. You no longer felt like an individual. You were part of the person to your right. You were part of the person to your left. So much so that your racing hearts and panting breaths synched up and began to sound like the roaring engine of a Ford 150.

And then, when it was time, someone would make the call, that was more like a shout — the kind you let out when you are not angry or upset but just want to make something clear, “YES MOM, I HEARD YOU” — one of those.

“Red rover, red rover, send Samantha over”

And just like that Samantha got suited up. She crisscrossed the bunny ears of her shoelaces; fist pumped her teammates, lunged forward and took off. You saw her coming at you. You realized you didn’t have much time left. You twisted your sweaty fingers together till they are all the way locked at the core.

Your heart began to pound, on beat, with her approaching footsteps and that is when you closed your eyes. Notice this about life: When someone is running toward you at an ungodly speed, you will, without a doubt close your eyes.

But you won’t let go.

Maybe, your fingers will start to pull apart; maybe, your palms will press outward from the girl’s next to you. Maybe, you will start to wonder if supporting the full body weight of this 7-year-old girl is really something you want to do for much longer.

But, you won’t let go.

The girl next to you starts to call it quits. She starts to yank her hand away from yours.

And then, some kind of law of physics that you just can’t understand in the third grade takes place from all the pulling and the pushing and the yanking, that you, the girl next to you, and poor little victim of the game red rover, Samantha, falls backwards onto the buds of wet grass.

You still, for some odd reason, don’t let go.

It is right then that you learn that holding on for too long is never a good idea. That there will always be a time, that you will be made aware of thanks to the butterflies that will swarm your stomach or the feeling of a large stack of bricks being placed on your heart, when you will know it is time to go on — get out of there — drop your hands and simply just walk away.

You’ll find that feeling to become all too familiar as the years go by. You stay past your welcome at a job that you just don’t like, you grow out of a dress that you spent some of the best nights of your teenage years in, you wrap your arms around people who squirm to get away.

One day you will get the hang of it.

But maybe you won’t. Learn not to be so hard on yourself — you are human and this is just one of those feelings that remind you what it is like to be alive

-From Thought Catologue

"Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequency rather than absorbing the frequencies..."

Fri, 03 May 2013 07:36:52 -0700

“Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequency rather than absorbing the frequencies around you, when you start imprinting your intent on the universe rather than receiving an imprint from existence.”

- Barbara Marciniak (via divine-consciousness)

What it really means to "go with the flow"

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:10:30 -0700

Going with the flow isn’t about being passive or lazy. It’s not about just letting things happen “to you”. It’s not aimless wandering. It’s a co-creative act.

“The flow” is the ocean of cosmic intelligence. It’s the substance that carries the whole shebang. The flow is life energy itself.

Going with the flow is responding to cues from the universe. When you go with the flow, you’re surfing Life force. It’s about wakeful trust and total collaboration with what’s showing up for you.

When a woman tangoes, every inch of her body is flowing into the man’s lead. She’s not complying, she’s responding. Hockey great, Wayne Gretsky said he, “Just skated to where the puck was.” Flow was his strategy.

So you can set down the zealous goal-chasing. You can burn your detailed five year plan. And you can certainly worry less about the right move/wrong move. You’re not nuts, or submissive or lazy if you, like, go free form.

You’re a Flow Artist. Or a Ninja of Flow — take your pick. With keen senses, skilled daring, and the heart of a warrior. You’re daring to catch a wave of truth, again, and again, and again. Go with it.

-from Danielle Laport (http://www.daniellelaporte.com)

"High school, it seems, has changed. It has become competitive. Young men and women — 13 to 18 years..."

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 15:14:20 -0700

“High school, it seems, has changed. It has become competitive. Young men and women — 13 to 18 years old — must work more or less tirelessly to ensure their spot at a college deemed worthy to them and their families. So rather than living their adolescent lives — lives brimming with desires and vitality, with vim, vigor, and brewing lust — these kids are working at old age homes, cramming for tests, popping Adderall just to make the literal and proverbial grade. And for what? So they can go to a school that puts them in debt for the rest of their lives. School has become a great vehicle of capitalism: it quashes the revolution implicit in adolescence while simultaneously fomenting perpetual indebtedness.”

- Daniel Coffeen (via thatsgoldjerry)

melleigh: This machine allows anyone to work for minimum wage...

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 15:01:01 -0700

melleigh:

This machine allows anyone to work for minimum wage for as long as they like. Turning the crank on the side releases one penny every 4.97 seconds, for a total of $7.25 per hour. This corresponds to minimum wage for a person in New York. This piece is brilliant on multiple levels, particularly as social commentary. Without a doubt, most people who started operating the machine for fun would quickly grow disheartened and stop when realizing just how little they’re earning by turning this mindless crank. A person would then conceivably realize that this is what nearly two million people in the United States do every day…at much harder jobs than turning a crank. This turns the piece into a simple, yet effective argument for raising the minimum wage.

god damn

On The Rox: acylated: The Day I Taught How Not To Rapebunniewabbit:...

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 20:40:36 -0700

On The Rox: acylated: The Day I Taught How Not To Rapebunniewabbit:...:

acylated:

The Day I Taught How Not To Rape

bunniewabbit:

dancinginthesetrees:

““Ms. Norman” another kid called, “Have you heard about that rape case in Ohio? Those guys got convicted. They have to go to jail. They are going to lose their scholarships. They were going to D-1…

This is why I’m so glad that Condomania is doing what they’re doing and teaching not just about the mechanics of sex but about consent, relationships, gender stereotypes, etc.

HOWEVER,

I’m all for teaching boys (and girls) about how yes means yes, and anything except a yes means no.. but what about teaching girls to actually embrace their sexuality? How is a guy to know when no really means no when a girl says no, but *secretly* wanted him to try a little harder because she actually wanted it but was too shy to ask? Let’s stop playing hard to get ladies.

And we walked down the block to my car and I almost brought him upBut you start to talk about the...

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 12:59:16 -0700

And we walked down the block to my car and I almost brought him up
But you start to talk about the movies that your family
Watches
Every single Christmas and I want to talk about that
And for the first time what’s past is past

‘Cause you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it’s strange that you think I’m funny ‘cause he never did
I’ve been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again

Taylor Swift is the soundtrack to my life. (said every teenage and 20-something girl).

Photo

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 21:13:14 -0700

Photo

Tue, 22 Jan 2013 04:28:01 -0800

Why you should travel young

Mon, 21 Jan 2013 03:42:16 -0800

Why you should travel young

Posted by Jeff Goins

As I write this, I’m flying. It’s an incredible concept: to be suspended in the air, moving at two hundred miles an hour — while I read a magazine. Amazing, isn’t it?

I woke up at three a.m. this morning. Long before the sun rose, thirty people loaded up three conversion vans and drove two hours to the San Juan airport. Our trip was finished. It was time to go home. But we were changed.

As I sit, waiting for the flight attendant to bring my ginger ale, I’m left wondering why I travel at all. The other night, I was reminded why I do it — why I believe this discipline of travel is worth all the hassle.

I was leading a missions trip in Puerto Rico. After a day of work, as we were driving back to the church where we were staying, one of the young women brought up a question.

“Do you think I should go to graduate school or move to Africa?”

I don’t think she was talking to me. In fact, I’m pretty sure she wasn’t. But that didn’t stop me from offering my opinion.

I told her to travel. Hands down. No excuses. Just go.

She sighed, nodding. “Yeah, but…”

I had heard this excuse before, and I didn’t buy it. I knew the “yeah-but” intimately. I had uttered it many times before. The words seem innocuous enough, but are actually quite fatal.

Yeah, but …

… what about debt?

… what about my job?

… what about my boyfriend?

This phrase is lethal. It makes it sound like we have the best of intentions, when really we are just too scared to do what we should. It allows us to be cowards while sounding noble.

Most people I know who waited to travel the world never did it. Conversely, plenty of people who waited for grad school or a steady job still did those things after they traveled.

It reminded me of Dr. Eisenhautz and the men’s locker room.

Dr. Eisenhautz was a German professor at my college. I didn’t study German, but I was a foreign language student so we knew each other. This explains why he felt the need to strike up a conversation with me at six o’clock one morning.

I was about to start working out, and he had just finished. We were both getting dressed in the locker room. It was, to say the least, a little awkward — two grown men shooting the breeze while taking off their clothes.

“You come here often?” he asked. I could have laughed.

“Um, yeah, I guess,” I said, still wiping the crusted pieces of whatever out of my eyes.

“That’s great,” he said. “Just great.”

I nodded, not really paying attention. He had already had his adrenaline shot; I was still waiting for mine. I somehow uttered that a friend and I had been coming to the gym for a few weeks now, about three times a week.

“Great,” Dr. Eisenhautz repeated. He paused as if to reflect on what he would say next. Then, he just blurted it out. The most profound thing I had heard in my life.

“The habits you form here will be with you for the rest of your life.”

My head jerked up, my eyes got big, and I stared at him, letting the words soak into my half-conscious mind. He nodded, said a gruff goodbye, and left. I was dumbfounded.

The words reverberated in my mind for the rest of the day. Years later, they still haunt me. It’s true — the habits you form early in life will, most likely, be with you for the rest of your existence.

I have seen this fact proven repeatedly. My friends who drank a lot in college drink in larger quantities today. Back then, we called it “partying.” Now, it has a less glamorous name: alcoholism. There are other examples. The guys and girls who slept around back then now have babies and unfaithful marriages. Those with no ambition then are still working the same dead end jobs.

“We are what we repeatedly do,” Aristotle once said. While I don’t want to sound all gloom-and-doom, and I believe your life can turn around at any moment, there is an important lesson here: life is a result of intentional habits. So I decided to do the things that were most important to me first, not last.

After graduating college, I joined a band and traveled across North America for nine months. With six of my peers, I performed at schools, churches, and prisons. We even spent a month in Taiwan on our overseas tour. (We were huge in Taiwan.)

As part of our low-cost travel budget, we usually stayed in people’s homes. Over dinner or in conversation later in the evening, it would almost always come up — the statement I dreaded. As we were conversing about life on the road — the challenges of long days, being cooped up in a van, and always being on the move — some well-intentioned adult would say, “It’s great that you’re doing this … while you’re still young.”

Ouch. Those last words — while you’re still young — stung like a squirt of lemon juice in the eye (a sensation with which I am well acquainted). They reeked of vicarious longing and mid-life regret. I hated hearing that phrase.

I wanted to shout back,

“No, this is NOT great while I’m still young! It’s great for the rest of my life! You don’t understand. This is not just a thing I’m doing to kill time. This is my calling! My life! I don’t want what you have. I will always be an adventurer.”

In a year, I will turn thirty. Now I realize how wrong I was. Regardless of the intent of those words, there was wisdom in them.

As we get older, life can just sort of happen to us. Whatever we end up doing, we often end up with more responsibilities, more burdens, more obligations. This is not always bad. In fact, in many cases it is really good. It means you’re influencing people, leaving a legacy.

Youth is a time of total empowerment. You get to do what you want. As you mature and gain new responsibilities, you have to be very intentional about making sure you don’t lose sight of what’s important. The best way to do that is to make investments in your life so that you can have an effect on who you are in your later years.

I did this by traveling. Not for the sake of being a tourist, but to discover the beauty of life — to remember that I am not complete.

There is nothing like riding a bicycle across the Golden Gate Bridge or seeing the Coliseum at sunset. I wish I could paint a picture for you of how incredible the Guatemalan mountains are or what a rush it is to appear on Italian TV. Even the amazing photographs I have of Niagara Falls and the American Midwest countryside do not do these experiences justice. I can’t tell you how beautiful southern Spain is from the vantage point of a train; you have to experience it yourself. The only way you can relate is by seeing them.

While you’re young, you should travel. You should take the time to see the world and taste the fullness of life. Spend an afternoon sitting in front of the Michelangelo. Walk the streets of Paris. Climb Kilimanjaro. Hike the Appalachian trail. See the Great Wall of China. Get your heart broken by the “killing fields” of Cambodia. Swim through the Great Barrier Reef. These are the moments that define the rest of your life; they’re the experiences that stick with you forever.

Traveling will change you like little else can. It will put you in places that will force you to care for issues that are bigger than you. You will begin to understand that the world is both very large and very small. You will have a newfound respect for pain and suffering, having seen that two-thirds of humanity struggle to simply get a meal each day.

While you’re still young, get cultured. Get to know the world and the magnificent people that fill it. The world is a stunning place, full of outstanding works of art. See it.

You won’t always be young. And life won’t always be just about you. So travel, young person. Experience the world for all it’s worth. Become a person of culture, adventure, and compassion. While you still can.

Do not squander this time. You will never have it again. You have a crucial opportunity to invest in the next season of your life now. Whatever you sow, you will eventually reap. The habits you form in this season will stick with you for the rest of your life. So choose those habits wisely.

And if you’re not as young as you’d like (few of us are), travel anyway. It may not be easy or practical, but it’s worth it. Traveling allows you to feel more connected to your fellow human beings in a deep and lasting way, like little else can. In other words, it makes you more human.

That’s what it did for me, anyway

From: http://convergemagazine.com/travel-young-5278/

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Thu, 17 Jan 2013 02:25:43 -0800

"One of the most amazing things that can happen is finding someone who sees everything you are and..."

Thu, 17 Jan 2013 02:02:34 -0800

“One of the most amazing things that can happen is finding someone who sees everything you are and won’t let you be anything less. They see the potential of you. They see endless possibilities. And through their eyes, you start to see yourself the same way as someone who matters. As someone who can make a difference in the world.”

- So Much Closer by Susane Colosanti

(via whitneyhussain)

Things I will miss about Australia (or Melbourne)

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 15:42:00 -0800

While my original plan to stay for a year and a half to two and a half years (pending 3 months of rural work.. which many people forget to mention.) has been cut short; I consider the next six months in Vancouver as time to regroup financially and emotionally, be a good sister and maid of honour, and figure things out before hitting Australia (and Melbourne) back with full force and gusto. You don’t get many second chances in life but it looks like I’m pre-emptively setting myself up with one. Win.

And with that, I’m suddenly faced with only two short weeks left in Melbourne before a two month South East Asia bender planned in the aforementioned two weeks. Along with moving out and full time work, I can’t say it’s ideal. However, work is a term used loosely here and in my spare time at work I’ve compiled the following list of things I will miss about being down under (in no particular order):

1.) New friends. Obviously. I was originally worried that when I said goodbye in feb 2014, it would be goodbye forever. Now, it’s just a see ya later :)

2.) Aussie slang. Heaps good, Too easy, G’day mate, Cheers and ‘Ta.

3.) The tan. Aka the seawall without the sea.

4.) Southbank (Melbourne, and Brissy I suppose)- so pretty.

5.) Sydney. Deserves it’s own bullet point because it’s so gorgeous and a hop and a skip away from Melbourne. I’ve been there 3 times in the past 6 months.

6.) Music festivals. Been to one, had tickets to another. Such an amazing atmosphere

7.) Good looking aussies. Both males and females. Why is this so low on the list?

8.) Vegemite. Just kidding.

9.) Tim tams and Pods. Not kidding.

10.) Gorgeous beaches. Their “shitty” beach trumps Kits anyday.

11.) Surfing without a wetsuit.

12.) Beautiful blue waters and blue skies. Weather that is warmer than 30 degrees

13.) Living in the middle of the city and being walking distance from everywhere

14.) Sushi hand rolls

15.) Did I mention gorgeous beaches?

16.) Pie face (food’s kinda important to me)

17.) Rooftop bars. Those just can’t exist all year in Vancouver

18.) Footy! Missing another season means delaying picking a team to cheer for.

19.) Road signs. Kangaroo crossing anyone?

20.) Actual roos, wombats, koalas, crossing the street and shit as if they own the place. Oh wait, they kinda do?

21.) Cheer. I doubt I’ll be cheering back home. The cheer community down here is so much more amazing and warm and friendly than back at home.

22.) Barre Body. Such an amazing concept. Thank you for igniting a passion and appreciation for yoga.

23.) One hot yoga. Same deal as 22

24.) Crepes from that place at Melbourne Uni.

25.) Shitty wifi at uni. Just kidding. Won’t miss that

26.) Aldi. Geezus, cheap groceries much?

27.) Schnitz fries. (I can’t seem to let the food go eh?)

28.) Golden gaytimes. Weis ice cream fruit bars. (more food)

29.) Cheap and dirty, delicious dumplings from chinatown.

30.) Lord of the fries (though the poutine at home is better hands down)

31.) Train stations. How can someone miss train stations? Beats me but I know I’m going to.

32.) And trams. Will miss these. Melbourne’s got a killer transportation system

33.) All the cute little hipster shops in Melbourne

34.) Bookstores! Independent, cozy little bookstores!

35.) James Squire beer (or bee-ah).

36.) Bimbos pizza. And Mojo’s weird pizza.

37.) My shitty apartment. It’s become quite the home for me.

38.) Chatime

39.) Cheap domestic flights

40.) Cheap prepaid phone plans

41.) SO MANY BRUNCH OPTIONS

42.) My aussie family. I love being so close to my mom’s side of the family.

43.) Driving on the “wrong” side of the road

44.) Random stunting and laying out in parks.

45.) Allergies. Just kidding. Wont’ miss that. I’ve been clawing at my eyes since October non stop.

46.) All the festivals! Festivals. Every. Weekend.

47.) Fitzroy, St Kilda, South Yarra/ Prahran (Greville St in particular), Docklands, Carlton, and Brunswick. Suburbs rock my socks.

I feel like coffee should be on that list somewhere but unfortunately, I’m not a coffee drinker. I’m sure there are so many other aspects of Melbourne that I’ve missed out on which is why I’m eager to get my butt back down here ASAP! Home is where the heart is but can your heart be in two places?

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Mon, 14 Jan 2013 05:03:22 -0800

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Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:39:05 -0800

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Fri, 11 Jan 2013 21:38:52 -0800

Oh what are we doing, we are turning into dust. Playing house in the ruins of us.

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 01:48:41 -0800

Oh what are we doing, we are turning into dust. Playing house in the ruins of us.

Don’t edit your feelings. Say what you mean.

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 14:12:57 -0800

Don’t edit your feelings. Say what you mean.

wah-mos: But you will. You know, you will think of things. And...

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 04:26:47 -0800

wah-mos:

But you will. You know, you will think of things. And I’ll get bored with you and feel trapped because that’s what happens with me.

Yup. What I’m most afraid of and why I never trust a guy when he says this.